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January 2006

Birds, Birthdays, Bad Shit and Biology

27/1/06: Today marks the 250th birthday of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart a composer who left the world a considerable body of work despite his untimely death at the age of 34. Some speculate that if Mozart were alive today he would be writing pop music, however I suspect it is far more likely that he would be banging on his coffin lid asking to be let out.

According to U.K. psycholgist Cliff Arnall, last Monday (Jan 24th)was statistically the most depressing day forcasted for 2006. His prediction is based on a complicated calculation of variables such as time elapsed since Christmas, weather patterns and diet. Clearly as this date has now passed we are on the upside and the happiest day of the year is forcast for some time around the winter solstice (Southern Hemisphere bias from this end).

Scientists in Sumatra have discovered a new species which is to date the smallest invertebrate known to man. Smaller even than the Indo-Pacific Goby, Paedocypris progenetica, a member of the carp family measures just 7.9 long when mature and inhabits a highly acidic peat swamp.

A Little Bird Told Me

London, England - Chris Taylor, a computer programmer, broke up with his girlfriend of one year, Suzy Collins after his parrot, Ziggy revealed that she had been having secret liasons with a colleague. Ziggy, an African Grey Parrot, blurted out "I love you Gary" and "Hiya Gary" mimicking the unfaithful girlfriend's telephone voice as the couple sat together on the sofa. Collins admitted the affair after Ziggy spilled the beans as clearly the game was up and she forthwith moved out of the appartment. Collins complained later that the relationship was on the rocks anyway as Taylor spoke to Ziggy more often than he spoke to her.

Unfortunately for Taylor he also had to part company with Ziggy, his faithful companion of eight years, as the hapless creature continued to call out Gary's name, this ultimately being more than he could take.

CNN Report

On The Bog (and other matters)

A recent act of vandalism on an exhibited work considered by many to be a cornerstone of conceptual art, once again raises questions about how we define what is art.

Left: Marcel Duchamp's Fountain. French performance artist, Pierre Pinoncelli has a date with the magistrate on Jan. 24 following his recent attack, with a hammer, on Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" at the time on display at the Centre Georges Pompidou. As on a previous occasion (in Nimes, 1993), when he urinated into it and also struck it with a hammer, Pinoncelli proclaimed his act a work of art in itself and a tribute to Duchamp and other Dadaists.

Marcel Duchamp was a pioneer of kinetic and ready made sculpture and a strong influence on many of today's leading conceptual artists. Central to Duchamp's philosophy was the consideration that even ordinary every day objects could be objects of art merely by the artist's will to make them so. His "Fountain" was first submitted for exhibition in 1917 in New York by the Society of Independent Artists but was rejected for not being "art". The work was signed "R. Mutt 1917", an apparent play on the German "armut", meaning "poverty". In stark contrast to it's initial failure to impress, "Fountain" was recently named the most influential modern art work of all time in a poll of 500 leading art experts.

Left: "The Bog" The work on the left has been on display in my bathroom for some time now. Duchamp's "Fountain" has been valued at around US$3 million dollars. I reckon I could let "The Bog" go for around $10,000 though technically it doesn't really belong to me. I think my landlady could quite happily accept this kind of figure however and we could probably chuck in the bucket, toilet brush and a roll of tissues for free. When it comes to defining art of this nature, it might not always pay to look into it too deeply.

Here's a link to Pierre Pinoncelli's website. Mon Dieu c'est vrai!

Bigfeet

News has come in of a large simian creature spotted in Kota Tinggi, Malaysia. Early reports suggest the creature is roughly 2.5m tall with a shoe size of 25 (UK system). In comparison the NBA's Yao Ming wears a size 18 (U.S. I would assume) Watch this space for further developments.

This week's silly games come to you courtesy of the Royal New Zealand Air Force.
Bring it on

Best Headlines of 2005:

Actually some of these have been around a while but here goes nothing.....

CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

MINERS REFUS TO WORK AFTER DEATH

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

ENFIELD (lONDON) COUPLE SLAIN, POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETARY HUNDREDS DEAD

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